The Healing Power of Relationships Summit

Day 4 - The Evolution Of Relationships

Did you know that being surrounded by people you love is different from living a life that’s full of love?

In my 40 years as a couples therapist, I’ve seen all kinds of relationships. And in every negative scenario, there is always one thing missing—no matter what part an individual plays in the dynamic…

It’s the one thing that drives all human behavior. Have enough of it, and you can create happy and healthy relationships. But if you aren’t equipped with the skills to foster the environment for it, then disconnection and dissatisfaction could permeate your life.

Do any of the following sound familiar?

  • My partner and I fight all the time. We love each other, but there’s too much anger.
  • I’m with an abusive/unfaithful/distant partner, and I can’t seem to get out.
  • My partner is fed up with me because I’m unfaithful, violent, or I take them for granted. 
  • I’m not happy with myself. I don’t know how to be comfortable in my own skin.
  • I’m addicted to food/drugs/alcohol/sex, and I can’t seem to stop even if I know I should.

If any of these scenarios resonate with you, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It  means you haven’t yet learned the skills to better relate to others, as well as yourself.

Here’s the truth: the one thing driving all of these behaviors is our universal need for deep connection. For lasting intimacy with the people we love the most.

All of these behaviors are rooted in a deep sense of disconnection, when you first developed them, they made perfect sense – as adaptations to the trauma you experienced growing up. 

Whether you were abandoned, neglected, or even violated… these “self-defeating” patterns once served a purpose… 

But now they’re keeping you stuck.

What if I told you that there was a way to move past your trauma triggers and learn better ways of responding?

What if you could evolve as your Wise Adult Self and become a better partner and individual overall?

Did you know that being surrounded by people you love is different from living a life that’s full of love?

In my 40 years as a couples and family therapist, I’ve seen all kinds of relationships. And in every negative scenario, there is always one thing missing no matter what part an individual plays in the dynamic.

This one thing is what drives all human behavior. Have enough of it, and you can create happy and healthy relationships. But if you don’t have the skills to foster the environment for it, then loneliness and dissatisfaction could permeate your life.

Do any of the following sound familiar?

  • My partner and I fight all the time. We love each other, but there’s too much anger.
  • I’m with an abusive/unfaithful/distant partner, and I can’t seem to get out.
  • My partner is fed up with me because I’m unfaithful, violent or I take them for granted. 
  • I’m not happy with myself. I don’t know how to be happy in my own skin.
  • I’m addicted to food/drugs/alcohol/sex, and I can’t seem to stop even if I know I should.

If any of these scenarios resonated with you, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It can just mean you haven’t learned the skills yet to better relate to others, as well as yourself.

Here’s the truth: the one thing driving all of this behavior is our universal need for deep connection. For lasting intimacy with the people we love the most.

And while all of these behaviors are rooted in a deep sense of disconnection, they made perfect sense once as adaptations to the trauma you experienced growing up. 

Whether you were abandoned, violated, or even neglected…, these “self-defeating” patterns served a purpose then. 

But they’re simply keeping you stuck now.

What if I told you that there was a way to move past your trauma triggers… and learned better ways of responding in their place?

What if you could evolve as your Wise Adult Self… and become a better partner and individual overall?

I’m telling you today that this is possible. With the right tools, anyone can start healing their trauma, learn better relational skills, and create the relationships of their dreams.

Think about your ideal relationship… then think about the one you have now.

Does it come close to what you wish it could be? Or is it far from perfect, mostly filled with regret?

Maybe your relationship is explosive – you lash out as a way to ease your pain, but any relief is fleeting. Perhaps you’re terrified of being abandoned, so you stay in a relationship that’s not good for you for a fear of being alone. Or maybe you feel much safer by yourself, afraid to let others get close, even though you desperately crave connection. 

Volatile, angry relationships can decimate your physical health. Staying with a toxic partner is terrible for your self-esteem. And being with someone “safe” who doesn’t fulfill you, can rob you of happiness further down the road.

Here’s the good news: there is a way forward regardless of your situation. And it all starts with creating a deep, authentic connection with yourself and with the people you love.

For the past 40 years, I’ve helped individuals and couples shift from an individualistic, linear world to a relational, connected one through my work as a relationship therapist. I help them confront their trauma, understand how it served them, and teach them the powerful tools to evolve past it.

The result is nothing short of transformative – for the individuals and their relationships. Often, I see people dramatically turn around their behaviors right in front of me as they start adopting a healthier mindset: it’s no longer them versus their partner, but them together versus the problem. They no longer care who’s right: what’s more important is finding a way that works for everyone.

Historically speaking, we’ve never wanted more from our relationships than we do right now. But we live in a world that’s more disconnected than ever.

We crave closeness, connection, and collaboration but most of us don’t have the skills yet to pull it off. 

Yet thanks to decades of research, now anyone can learn this sophisticated repertoire of skills. Skills that will help them reconnect to themselves and their partner to build intimacy that lasts a lifetime.

Today, you can finally do the same. Are you ready to experience true, relational joy with the people you love—and create the relationship you desire?

Think about your ideal relationship… then think about the one you have now.

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Does it come close to what you wish it could be? Or is it far from perfect, mostly filled with regret?

Maybe your relationship is explosive—you lash out as a way to ease your pain, but any relief is fleeting. Perhaps you’re terrified of being abandoned, so you stay in a relationship that’s not good for you for fear of being alone. Or maybe you feel much safer by yourself, afraid to let others get close, even though you desperately crave connection. 

The relationships we have determine the quality of our lives. And the costs of unhappy, dysfunctional relationships sometimes don’t catch up with us until it’s too late.

Volatile, angry relationships can decimate your physical health. Staying with a toxic partner is terrible for your self-esteem. And being with someone “safe” who doesn’t fulfill you now, can still rob you of happiness further down the road.

Here’s the good news: there is a way forward regardless of your situation. And it all starts with creating a deep, authentic connection with yourself and with the people you love.

For the past 40 years, I’ve helped individuals and couples shift from an individualistic, linear world to a relational, connected one through my work as a relationship therapist. I help them confront their trauma, understand how it served them, and teach them the powerful tools to evolve past them.

The result is nothing short of transformative—for the individuals and their relationships. Often, I see people dramatically turn around their behaviors right in front of me as they start adopting a healthier mindset: it’s no longer them versus their partner, but them together versus the problem. They no longer care who’s right: what’s more important is finding a way that works for everyone.

Historically speaking, we’ve never wanted more from our relationships than we do right now. But we live in a world that’s more disconnected than ever.

We crave closeness, connection, and collaboration but most of us don’t have the skills yet to pull it off. 

Yet thanks to decades of research, now anyone can learn this sophisticated repertoire of skills. Skills that will help them reconnect to themselves and their partner to build intimacy that lasts a lifetime.

Today, you can finally do the same. Are you ready to experience true, relational joy with the people you love—and create the relationship you desire?

Introducing: The Us Workshops

My brand-new online program provides the roadmap and toolbox of skills you need to heal your past trauma, become a better partner and individual, and create the happy, healthy relationship you long for.

This course is the natural continuation of my new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship. It empowers you to put into practice the real-life application of my work with thousands of couples and individuals in relational life therapy.

In 5 weeks, you’ll learn new mental models to effectively relate to the people you love—from better ways to assert your needs to proven strategies for resolving conflicts.

Starting with a roadmap, you’ll assess how you currently operate from your trauma-triggered, adaptive Inner Child to create an action plan to move towards your prefrontal cortex, Wise Adult Self.

You’ll gain clarity on your self-defeating patterns, understand how they were informed by specific childhood and life experiences, and unlearn them to create better responses in their place.

Once that map has been laid out, we’ll open the toolbox of skills through an upgraded consciousness that replaces “you versus me” with “us versus the problem.”

Whether it’s friends, a partner, a family member, or even a co-worker, everyone has a person in their lives that they strive to be better for. 

This will take discipline and thoughtfulness, but it can be done. As long as you want to be more skilled in your relationships and create fulfilling ones that last, then this program is for you.

Through expert guidance and a positive community, you will learn how to tap into your inner wisdom and access your capacity for deep connection and intimacy.

With this program, I invite you today on a rarefied path. We’ll be leaving the norms of our culture in the dust. And you will not have good relationships – you will have a superlative ones.

Are you ready to start creating the relationship of your dreams?

Secure your $2,2980 discount

How the The Us Workshops Work

Improving any relationship has 3 main steps: the first step is confronting trauma triggers and the life experiences that shaped them; second, doing the trauma work to unpack these triggers and move past them; and finally, learning the effective relational strategies when these triggers arise.

Over the course of 5 weeks in the program, you’ll be gaining a deep understanding of the neurobiology of trauma and your prevalent attachment style, so you can release your unprocessed trauma in a safe, affirming way.

Each week, you’ll learn the research-backed strategies you’ll need to practice in order to create the changes within yourself and your relationship that will break the cycle of toxic relational patterns and create a more harmonious, enjoyable connection.

With lifetime access that allows you to undergo the process as many times as needed, you can look forward to the support you need within the core curriculum, relationship summit recordings, supplementary resources, and a supportive community, for life. 

Most importantly, you will get direct access to group coaching call recordings. Each session is 1 hour of additional content from me with 30 minutes of Q&A with past students.

All of this comes together in order to provide you with a powerful, transformative experience. Join us now and start creating your ideal relationship today.

How the US Workshops Works

Improving any relationship has 3 main steps: the first step is confronting trauma triggers and the life experiences that shaped them; second, doing the trauma work to unpack these triggers and move past them; and finally, learning the effective relational strategies when these triggers arise.

Over the course of 5 weeks in the program, you’ll be gaining a deep understanding of the neurobiology of trauma and your prevalent attachment style, so you can release your unprocessed trauma in a safe, affirming way.

Each week, you’ll learn the research-backed strategies you’ll need to practice in order to create the changes within yourself and your relationship that will break the cycle of toxic relational patterns and create a more harmonious, enjoyable connection.

With lifetime access that allows you to undergo the process as many times as needed, you can look forward to the support you need within the core curriculum, relationship summit recordings, supplementary resources, and a supportive community, for life. 

Most importantly, you will get direct access to group coaching call recordings. Each session is 1 hour of additional content from me with 30 minutes of Q&A with past students.

All of this comes together in order to provide you with a powerful, transformative experience. Join us now and start creating your ideal relationship today.

Explore The 5-Module Curriculum

One of the powerful things about the Us Workshops course is that it’s grounded in Relational Life Therapy principles, which connect the individual context of your personal relationships to the biological, social, and spiritual contexts in which they exist and evolve.

We’ll unpack the events at play in your neurobiology, neurochemistry, and nervous system when your trauma responses are triggered. We’ll dive deeper into the gender scripts and constructs that contribute to the dynamics of your relationship.

And from a broader perspective, we’ll explore how the forces of individualism, patriarchy, and humanity’s disconnection to nature make it harder to sustain closeness in the modern world.

All of these will inform the work you’ll do in the program for a comprehensive, holistic approach that starts at the root of the problem and addresses systemic concerns as a whole. 

By the end of this program, you will be able to create a harmonious love relationship; develop life-long relational skills; have lasting inner happiness and peace; feel more whole and connected; and create a better future for yourself, your family, and humanity.

Module 1:

‘You and I’ vs ‘Us’

In the first module, you’ll understand the difference between 'You and I' vs 'Us' consciousness and why it’s important for happiness; and how to build a strong sense of purpose behind working on your relationships. We’ll explore how individualism and patriarchy shape our current world, how relationality has shaped your thinking, and how to start applying relational consciousness.

Meet Terry Real

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, acclaimed speaker and best-selling author. As the founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Terry and his team have offered workshops for couples, individuals and parents all across the US, along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) methodology. 

A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty five years, Terry is the best-selling author of: I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner, 1997), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House).

With its rigorous commonsense approach, Terry’s work speaks to both men and women—leading couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and greater personal fulfillment. His ideas on men’s issues and on couples therapy have also been celebrated in various venues and publications—from Good Morning America, The Today Show and 20/20, to Oprah and The New York Times.

Terry has been passionately committed for decades about giving individuals and couples both a map and a sophisticated toolkit for living truly relational lives—lives of deep connection to themselves, to the people they love, and to the planet as a whole.

As part of his commitment to helping people become more conscious, thoughtful and intenttional individuals, he hopes that with this free summit, anyone can finally begin the journey towards creating the relationships that they deserve.

As seen on:

Terry Real

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, acclaimed speaker and best-selling author. As the founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Terry and his team have offered workshops for couples, individuals and parents all across the US, along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) methodology. 

A senior faculty member of The Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired clinical fellow of The Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists for more than two decades.

A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty five years, Terry is the best-selling author of: I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner, 1997), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House).

With its rigorous commonsense approach, Terry’s work speaks to both men and women—leading couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and greater personal fulfillment. His ideas on men’s issues and on couples therapy have also been celebrated in various venues and publications—from Good Morning America, The Today Show and 20/20, to Oprah and The New York Times.

Terry has been passionately committed for decades about giving individuals and couples both a map and a sophisticated toolkit for living truly relational lives—lives of deep connection to themselves, to the people they love, and to the planet as a whole.

As part of his commitment to helping people become more conscious, thoughtful and intenttional individuals, he hopes that with this free summit, anyone can finally begin the journey towards creating the relationships that they deserve.

As seen on:

What You Get When You Join Today

Total Value: $2,547

Receive lifetime access to the entire program and all bonuses, along with a 14-day money-back guarantee, when you enroll today.

US Workshops - Live

$ 497
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings
  • Us Workshops - 5 Live Modules and 6 Live Q&A Session with Terry + Free Bonuses
Live

The Healing Power of
Relationships Summit

$ 49
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship" [available in USA & Canada only]
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings and Zoom Access

Preorder Terry's New Book

$ 29
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"

US Workshop

$ 249
  • The US Workshop: Relational Life Skills Curriculum: 5 Modules ($999 Value)
  • BONUS #1 US Workshop includes 6 Pre-Recorded Q&A Sessions ($600 Value)
  • BONUS #2 The Healing Power of Relationships Summit VIP Pass: Recordings, transcripts and exclusive bonuses ($948 Value)

The Healing Power of
Relationships Summit VIP Pass

$ 99
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings ($600 Value)​
  • Special Bonuses from Guest Speakers (Value: $249)
  • COMPLETE Transcripts for All 30 Sessions (Value: $99)

What People Say About the Relational Life Therapy Method

“Before learning Terry Real’s model I’d work with couples to problem-solve their dilemmas of the day. I always had misgivings about the long-term potential of my work because I didn’t know how to move in deeper to address with them their relational processes. Now, having Terry’s model for teaching clients healthy relating, I have guidelines to help them perform the modest miracle of personal transformation on a permanent level.”

– R.D., student of Terry Real's professional training

“Terry Real helps overturn old-fashioned, confining roles and opens up a treasury of hope for lasting and exciting intimacy for couples everywhere.”

– Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Crazy Busy

“Falling in love is easy, staying in love is another matter. Couples yearning for more closeness are truly in uncharted territory . . . until now, that is. Terry offers amazing new insights about men and women and what it takes to make relationships work in our ever-changing culture.”

– Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author of Divorce Busting

Secure your $2,2980 discount

Bonuses Included When You Join Today

$948 Value

BONUS #1: The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings and Exclusive Bonuses

Get lifetime access to all 30 sessions of the The Healing Power of Relationships Summit. Use them to dive deeper into any topic thanks to our incredible line-up of speakers. This is a great way to support your learning experience in the Us Workshops program.

$600 Value

BONUS #2: 6 Pre-Recorded Q&A Sessions with Terry

To provide even more support, I’ve recorded my live group coaching sessions with our first ever batch of students in the program. In these calls, I provide more context to the modules while hosting a live Q&A where students were given advice on their specific relationship concerns.

Total Value: $1,548

You're Protected With Our 14-Day Money-Back Guarantee

I know that $249 is a significant investment in yourself and your future. You might not be sure that this program will work or what makes it so different from the other things you may have tried in the past. That’s perfectly understandable.

To prove that this will be the single best investment you can make for yourself and your potential, you’re eligible for our 14-day money-back guarantee as soon as you enroll.

If after 14 days you don’t feel this is the right program for you, then you’ll receive a 100% refund on the program. There are no tricks or hidden cancellations pages, just email our team and we’ll immediately arrange your refund.

Once you join today the guarantee will automatically apply.

What You Get When You Join Today

Total Value: $2,547

Receive lifetime access to the entire program and all bonuses, along with a 14-day money-back guarantee, when you enroll today.

Secure your $2,2980 discount

US Workshops - Live

$ 497
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings
  • Us Workshops - 5 Live Modules and 6 Live Q&A Session with Terry + Free Bonuses
Live

The Healing Power of
Relationships Summit

$ 49
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings and Zoom Access

Preorder Terry's New Book

$ 29
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"

What People Say About the Relational Life Therapy Method

“If you’re tired of the same old dance, get ready to learn a few new steps real steps the ones that will make a difference in your life and the lives of those you love.”

– Cheryl Richardson, author of Life Makeovers

“Terry’s work provided foundations of “telling the truth” to clients. I did it easily with individuals, but stumbled with couples. Now I LOVE working with couples. It is now always profoundly moving & instructive.”

- Jeanne O

“You have lots of ideas that are very useful with couple work – particularly with the male client. I love your stuff about gender discourses and boundaries, asking clearly for what you need from your partner.”

- Claire O

Secure your $2,2980 discount

Frequently Asked Questions

What You Get When You Join Today

Total Value: $2,547

US Workshops - Live

$ 497
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings
  • Us Workshops - 5 Live Modules and 6 Live Q&A Session with Terry + Free Bonuses
Live

The Healing Power of
Relationships Summit

$ 49
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"
  • The Healing Power of Relationships Summit Recordings and Zoom Access

Preorder Terry's New Book

$ 29
  • Terry Real's new book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship"

Receive lifetime access to the entire program and all bonuses, along with a 14-day money-back guarantee, when you enroll today.